Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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