Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
