Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
