So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Couch. On fire.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
