i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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