We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
