he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
