The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
