porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
