i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
