Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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