Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize