would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
