did you get engaged???
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
