I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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