ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
