The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize