holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize