When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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