His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
