can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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