So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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