I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize