Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
