i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
