Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
