Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
