Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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