YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
