I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
