If that was your dad, he is hot
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
