are you so shy because you have an std?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
