Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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