Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
