when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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