I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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