Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
