if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
