I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
