I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
