shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
