It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize