if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
