Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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