He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
