jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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