It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
