I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
