He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
