Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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