just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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