Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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