I hate your face
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
