the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
